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Misti & Amir with friends
Amir & Misti in the University Village Courtyard
33 comments:
Has anyone had recent contact with Misti? This is painful, I've so many questions. I just keep seeing both of their beautiful faces in my mind. Helen
could we just go to her? or are the police going to stop us? is there anyone who tried to go? is there going to be a funeral?
Could someone please let us know if there is a funeral for Amir?
I would really like to be there as I am sure many of you would, and would appreaciate any news and info regarding this.
Thanks
I just talked to a receptionist at Highland who asked me "Is she a victim of a violent crime?" and told me they wouldn't have her real name if she was, but that one could come to the hospital and show ID. I'm not sure how far that would get anyone. Confirmation that she's there? Actually being able to visit? Julie R. heard from an Emerson parent that she's in San Leandro, which probably means the John George Psych Pavilion, but could also be Fairmount Hospital.
I just can't imagine the hell these two must have been/must be going through....
I just keep thinking of Misti alone in some hospital ward...
I am at a complete loss...
Julia
I've got to remember that I was fortunate to know Amir and Misti. I wish that their stories turned out happier and lasted longer. That is my wish. This bell cannot be unwrung and I will continue in sadness until god sees fit. I want to try and keep myself from making of my grief a red badge of courage. I am crestfallen and lost and will use Amir and Misti as polar stars to navigate through the landscape that I have left. Thank You Misti and Thank You Amir
Love Stafford
I found an article that has been helpful to me in trying to begin to understand this tragic story.
Take special note of altruistic filicide...
www.publications.villanova.edu/Concept/2005/Filicide.pdf
I'm told that there is a memorial Sunday at noon at La Loma Park in Berkeley.
Thank you Julie.
The article was helpful. It is in the year 2005.
Great article Julie... it really gave me some insight.
It's interesting that throughout all this time I'm not mad or angry (I don't know if that may come later)... I'm just really sadden by the situation.
Over the years, I 've realise that the many people I've met throughout my stay in the Village are a meaningful part of my life... heck I've really grown up in the Village.
I don't know what I would say to Misti if I saw her... clearly she was in her own personal hell and quite possibly still there.
I don't know what else to say... I know what I'm feeling , I just don't know how to articulate it
-Norton-
I've posted my best shot at this on my blog. http://westernqueensland.wordpress.com/2007/10/13/amir-hassan/
I am beyond sad for the loss of amir. i loved misti and amir. what many didn't realize is how bad misti's disorder really was. she picked and chose which part of herself to show to you. which many might say everyone does, but she did it in the extreme. then she alienated the ones she was closest to. people got used to things that weren't acceptable and when those who saw the messy side said anything to help her see things clearly she cut them off. i never believed it would have come to this.
amir had so much to offer the world. he was was so articulate and sharp that i would forget that i was talking with a kid. he would have gone far in life if he was allowed to. i look at my own child and remember the playdates and goodtimes with both misti and amir. i loved them. i still do.
then i feel angry. how could they slip through the cracks? after all of her stints in the hospital how did this happen? it's so unfair.
I would like to know any ways that friends can help Misti and her family. I was sorry to miss the gathering at La Loma Park on Oct. 14th, I learned of it late...
My heart goes out to you Misti. We enjoyed many good years at Emerson School with our children. We shared our love of books and stories through the Emerson Listening Library. You nurtured this love in Amir and he passed it on to younger students when he worked as a "reading buddy".
My sadness is tempered by wonderful memories of your exquisite love and dedication to Amir.
with love,
Sarah
This is disgusting, how could you guys feel for Misti. She killed her child! Doesn't anyone know the real story or you're all so busy feeling bad for this crazy woman who should have had her child taken away a long time ago.
I am very aware of Misti's mental illness, but I feel nothing but emptiness towards her (and sometimes hate), Misti can rot in a jail cell for the rest of her life. She can suffer with the guilt of what she has done in solitary confinement on suicide watch. I want her to live a long life so that she can suffer every waking moment.
Amir truly was a prince, and we loved him dearly.
Wow, Anonymous, you are passionate with your anger. I'm angry, too- in different way than you.
Do I support Misti's decision to kill her son- a boy I loved, admired, and watched grow? Have I ever supported any of her horrible destructive actions? No and no.
I don't know how well you knew her (if at all) or to what degree you witnessed her illness and destruction. I know that I saw more than others and less than a select few. People got used to things that were unacceptable because she could be as delicate as she could be fierce. Killing Amir is the ultimate unacceptable action and "self destructive" thing for her to do.
I lost contact when she stopped speaking to me. I pointed out to her that she wasn't seeing things clearly in regards to a falling out she had with a close mutual friend who couldn't emotionally handle bandaging her up anymore when she cut herself. I wanted to help her get back to a different headspace where we could go back to how it used to be with the three of us. There was pain and struggle- we were single parents- but there was happiness, too.
These last couple years I thought that Misti’s mother took care of Amir. The rumor I heard was sadly wrong. To have known Misti is to have loved her. When she told me in late night talks over cigarettes on the balcony that she couldn't kill herself and leave him behind, I thought that was a life-affirming reason for her to keep on keepin' on. I never ever thought she was capable of murdering him.
I am sad. I am angry. I want to know why she didn't call an ambulance after she crossed the line while there was still time to save him. But my questions are pointless; because nothing will bring back that boy I love as much as my own.
My anger, in this moment, is more toward the system that she was a part of when she checked herself into the mental hospital and the professionals that treated her. Someone should have realized that she was a hazard.
Then again, playing the blame game doesn't make it hurt less or change this new reality. Do not take the love and sympathy expressed on this site as support condoning Amir’s murder.
Hey everyone-
Let's just try our best to not get caught up in the hype of what's going on..."anonymous" who obviously has no history of Misti is just expressing his/her feelings from a standpoint that's understandable..but I think that those who know Misti and knew Amir have nothing to explain..absolutely nothing! We are all battling mixed emotions about this situation, but because of our exposure to who she was as a mother and the battles she faced daily (which she tried hard to cover in order to give Amir the best life possible) we knew her prior to this and we have no obligation in explaining this to this anonymous person.
What I really want to know however is did anyone get a chance to go to her arraignment?? I wanted to attend but unfortunately I had an exam at the same time. Please give us all an update!
Thanks
Please let met explain something to anonymous. The compassion and feeling for Misti has as much to do with her before the act as after the act.
First, we extend compassion because we mourn for the life Amir and she shared. We also mourn for the life and memories that we shared in common. In this sense, the murder of Amir also destroyed a part ourselves and our compassion is an attempt to salvage something for Misti as it is an attempt to recover the meaningfulness of the past within ourselves.
We also extend compassion and forgiveness, so that Misti might forgive herself. And, if you have ever grappled with depression, you should know that she will endure incredible pain and suffering to reach that point. She will traverse more difficult and arduous emotional space than most normal people. Unlike many murderers who look back upon their crime indifferently, Misti will live each day in abject pain. And the only escape will be even more pain--the pain of self-awareness and acceptance.
So we spare her nothing in our compassion. In fact, I would venture that such compassion has placed her in far greater pain than would your utter rage. Public condemnation only confirms her own self-contempt and suicide while compassion compels her to confront herself.
Ron Bialkowski
I met Misti years. We attended the UC Berkeley together from 1995 to 1998. We were closed. I moved to LA and lost contact with you.
Our kids played together and we spent a lot of time together. Whoever left the message about the Berkeley High School teacher, has gotten her facts all wrong. When we were in college Misti was sad but all of us were. I never knew of her cutting herself or anything else. Who was this married man? When did she become mentally ill? When did her parents stop talking to me? When we were in school, her mother would come and watch Amir 3 days a week. Did she finish UC Berkeley? Where is her dad? I have so many questions... I want answers!
She even dressed up as a clown for my daughter's third birthday party. (And LANITRA IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE CONTCT ME EMAILJACQUIECASEY@YAHOO.COM)
Hello everyone,
I just wanted to say that I went to the Reed family memorial service yesterday. It was a lovely service (as hard and gut-wrenching as this is) that celebrated Amir's life. There was a video presentation of photograhphs set to music that he loved and a jazz band that played more of Amir's favorite music. The preacher's eulogy was about Amir's legacy- his example- of love and how we can keep that in our hearts.
I am so sad. The world just lost a great guy.
Hello Everyone,
I called Santa Rita yesterday. If anyone once to write to her. Her pfn is BG6247. The address to the jail is 5325 Broder Blvd. Dublin, CA 94568. Remember to include her pfn as well as the name of the jail. I have not talked to anyone, I am hoping that she is responsive. You can also send her postal money orders. (I wanted to be a warden of a prison so I kinda know about jail stuff)
I WAS IN THE VILLAGE AND WENT TO U.C WHEN YOU AND MISTI WERE THERE. I DIDN'T KNOW MISTI THAT WELL BUT WE DID HAVE A FEW CONVERSATIONS. I CANNOT BELEIVE THIS HAS HAPPENED. AMIR AND MY DAUGHTER WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER AND I JUST WISH THAT I HAD SEEN HER WHEN WE WERE PICKING UP OUR CHILDREN. I HAD NO IDEA. THIS WHOLE STORY SITS WITHIN ME DAILY. I ALSO WANT ANSWERS. LIKE HOW IS SHE DOING? IS SHE COHERENT? HAS SHE COME TO AND REALIZED THE EXTENT OF HER BEHAVIOR?
MY HEART ALSO GOES OUT TO CHAD. BECAUSE FROM MY UNDERSTANDING HE WASN'T MUCH IN THE PICTURE FOR WHAT EVER REASON. I KNOW HE PROBABLY KEPT SAYING " I WILL SEE HIM SOON." THEN SOMETHING WOULD COME UP.
BUT LET ME JUST REMIND EVERYONE THAT ALL THE GOODNESS THAT AMIR SHARED WITH ALL THOSE THAT KNEW HIM, WAS TAUGHT TO HIM BY HIS VERY FIRST TEACHER.....HIS MOMMA.
Hello All-
I am a Medical Social Worker for the Public Health Department and I just received an email that immediately made me think of Misti. It is about prevention and early intervention for mental health. They are asking for community input on how to design this program with the funding they have received. I really think that we have a vested interest in representing Amir's memory here. Here is a link to the information.
http://www.acbhcs.org/MHSA/pei/pei_meeting.htm
and www.acbhcs.org
We all know if Misti would have gotten the support she needed perhaps our "Prince" would be alive and well. I hope some of you are able to come because they need to hear our stories
I just wanted to let this community know that if you are in town and can make it to Misti's next hearing (where I think she will be entering her plea) I know she needs and would love all of the support that she can get. It is next Friday November 16th at 9am at an Oakland court house (don't know the exact one but will post more information when I know)
I am one of Misti's oldest friends and was there when Amir was born...if anyone would like to contact me please feel free.
beckycchampion@yahoo.com
The contact information for Misti is incorrect above...
Her PFN # is BGG247
The address is correct
5325 Broder Blvd.
Dublin, CA 94568
Seeing the picture with those of out there that day makes me sad. I was thinking about Tissi, Tamu, Bobo and Vera because of the "troubles" in Kenya and some really cold weather here in NYC. I miss my life back then. I miss all of our lives back then. I pray for Ms. Misti every day and I hope I will find the courage to write something kind for her to read soon.
Stafford
i don't know if anyone still logs on here...
i am an old friend of misti & amir's. we lost touch about 4 years ago. misti stopped talking to me when i told her that i couldn't be there for me the way she needed. oh, how horrible i now feel for saying that.
i knew of none of this. just yesterday, i thought to google search misti. randomly. how bizarre that a year ago today, this all went down. i am shocked and so saddened.
does anyone know how she is? i imagine she is in more pain than anyone can fathom. this sounds terrible, but a part of me is sad that she didn't die too. how can she live with this?
ok, well. bless amir's memory. he was a beautiful child.
These articles are all starting to disappear from the internet, links ending in "this page does not exist/has moved." I just want to save them here. This all seems so huge, so important and so tragic that I can't stomach the thought of all public record of this just fading away with time, as if it were forgettable.
"Mom's Tearful Not Guilty Plea In Berkeley Boy's Murder"
Posted: 12:02 pm PST November 16, 2007
Updated: 1:07 pm PST November 16, 2007
BERKELEY, Calif. -- With a nod to acknowledge her relatives and friends gathered in the courtroom, a Berkeley woman tearfully pleaded not guilty Friday to charges that she murdered her 9-year-old son at their home last month.
Misti Hassan, 31, was dressed in red jail clothes and sobbed as she nodded to about 25 family members and friends who came to her brief appearance in Alameda County Superior Court.
The drama heightened moments later when an Alameda County sheriff's deputy became upset when Hassan's boyfriend, who waved back to her, and handcuffed him, hauled him out of the courtroom and arrested him for allegedly illegally communicating with an inmate.
Berkeley police found Amir Hassan dead when they went to the apartment at 3011 Shattuck Ave. shortly before 9:30 a.m. on Oct. 10 after getting a tip from San Jose police. They said he may have been dead for up to 36 hours.
Misti Hassan was suffering from cuts to her arms and neck and was taken to a local trauma center, where she was treated for non-life threatening injuries, Kusmiss said.
Hassan later was taken to the John George Psychiatric Pavilion in San Leandro, where she was arraigned Monday. Since then she was transferred to the Alameda County Jail in Dublin, where she's still being held.
Authorities have indicated that Hassan may have suffered from mental illness and Berkeley police say that a friend of Hassan's told authorities that Hassan phoned her the morning of Oct. 10 to report that Hassan said she killed Amir with klonopin, an anti-anxiety medication.
People close to the case also have indicated that Hassan may have been upset that Amir's father, Chad Reed, was seeking custody of Amir and that her boyfriend had recently broken up with her.
Outside court, Hassan's attorney, Lewis Romero, declined to comment on whether her mental competency will be an issue in defending her against the murder charges.
Romero told the large group of people who came to court on Hassan's behalf that, "Your support is the healing she needs."
Romero said, "This defense will be about transcending the norms, transcending the jail walls and transcending the law."
He said Hassan "is an unusual human being" and "can't do it without the love and intelligence of the community."
Romero said the arrest of Hassan's boyfriend shows that the court staff "is discomforted with the sense of love" displayed by Hassan's supporters.
He said Hassan's boyfriend "will be OK."
Alameda County sheriff's officials weren't immediately available for comment on the arrest.
Copyright 2007 by KTVU.com and Bay City News.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/16/BA03106N1J.DTL&feed=rss.news
"Weeping Berkeley mom charged with son's murder appears in court"
Henry K. Lee, Chronicle Staff Writer
Friday, October 19, 2007
A Berkeley woman charged with murdering her 9-year-old son, apparently with an overdose of a prescription drug, was in tears during her first court appearance Thursday.
Misti Mina Hassan, 31, cried, as did several supporters and friends in the courtroom gallery, during a short hearing before Judge Morris Beatus of Alameda County Superior Court in Oakland.
Hassan nodded through tears as her attorney, Lewis Romero, pointed out relatives and friends in court.
Hassan is charged with murdering her son, Amir Hassan Reed, whose pajama-clad body was found alongside hers Oct. 10 in bed at their apartment on the 3000 block of Shattuck Avenue, police said. Hassan had killed the boy as much as 36 hours earlier, then had cut her neck and wrists in a suicide attempt, authorities said.
Hassan was hospitalized for several days at Highland Hospital in Oakland, then was transferred to Santa Rita Jail, where she is being held without bail. Her neck has been bandaged since the suicide attempt, authorities said.
Hassan's mother, her sister, one of Amir's former teachers at Emerson Elementary School in Berkeley and other supporters left the courtroom without commenting. Hassan is due back in court Nov. 16.
Outside court, Romero declined to discuss the allegations against his client or her mental state.
But he said the Hassan family wanted to thank people for their support and love for her and Amir and for the "intelligence around what this is about."
"We are still grieving and through this tragic loss, I hope the community will grow its understanding and become more enlightened about issues of social policy that concern the criminal justice system, particularly those who are afflicted with mental illness," Romero said...
Police served a search warrant at Hassan's home and found journals and other writings detailing what Amir did in the days before he died, including playing lacrosse, going to a friend's birthday party and eating at restaurants, Kusmiss said.
Hassan wrote of "their departure together" and said they would leave "hand in hand" because she didn't want him to be without her, Kusmiss said.
A friend of Hassan who didn't want her name used said Hassan regularly volunteered at her son's school, where students considered her the "cool mom" because she was much younger than the other mothers.
"There is no doubt that she loved Amir more than anything else in the world," she said.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/10/19/BA0MSS7JV.DTL&feed=rss.bayarea
Does anyone know if there is a grave for Amir? It would be nice to have a place to visit when we're thinking about him
It looks like this blog is inactive. I hope people are still out there. I was prompted to think about Amir today because we believe today is his birthday.
Amir is buried in the cemetery at the end of Piedmont Avenue in Oakland. I visited his grave once, but I'm not sure I could find it again. It's inside one of the buildings. We think of Amir often, and we too would like to visit his grave. If anybody has details, please let us know.
Peace.
My daughter and I often walk by Emerson School and always think of Amir. We will never forget him.
My sister went to preschool with Amir and I remember seeing him all the time at school. It's awful the way things ended. Though he may not be here physically, his spirit will live on for a long time. Rest in Peace Amir Hassan, we are all lucky to have known you.
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